Project First TRICO
In this post we will give a brief overview of the last two "films? of the Batman franchise. You win and I give of myself to rant, but presentémoslas before:
Saturday, May 23, 2009
The horror ... : 
Batman Forever (1995), Batman and Robin
(1997) shit Rating: Cairn colossal the first tsunami of shit the second Average Rating:
Not applicable, nor are by far the adjective "bad"
Diossss, Diosssss, Diosssss ... because blogs are not written directly, that if I would have seen crying in a fetal position for half an hour and whacking his head against the the half wall as he recalled the argument of this waste film ... well, there ... let's keep that value ... by the way, sorry if I make some shit with the arguments, but every time I try to remember I get nosebleeds ... I hope you are not cancerous.
(1997) shit Rating: Cairn colossal the first tsunami of shit the second Average Rating:
Not applicable, nor are by far the adjective "bad"
Diossss, Diosssss, Diosssss ... because blogs are not written directly, that if I would have seen crying in a fetal position for half an hour and whacking his head against the the half wall as he recalled the argument of this waste film ... well, there ... let's keep that value ... by the way, sorry if I make some shit with the arguments, but every time I try to remember I get nosebleeds ... I hope you are not cancerous.
The first one, Batman Forever, it detaches completely from the universe TimBurtoniano of the first two films and shows us a Gotham full of neon and graffiti, with an atmosphere that would fill with pride Manolo, the owner of the brothel of your people. The director's excuse is that "wanted to return to camp batman more than 60" ... well you could have become quite the womb of your mother, incompetent bastard! Everything is wrong is this movie, everything is horrible, although it pales in comparison to the grandeur of the next installment, but do not advance. OTHER EVENTS ... Val Kilmer and Chris O'Donnell are in prison, Jim Carrey is more histrionic than ever, dressed as a clown and tabletting to the bars, Tommy Lee Jones (actor whom I respect) is the entire movie with a rubber mask of Tinos, which would blush shame on the owners of the post Christmas in the Plaza Mayor ... do not know what else to say, the argument is absurd, something of a machine to control people or so (it's not even want to check). A gruesome spectacle, really ... Joel Schumacher, I ask you please do me a favor and die. Ya. Points to note:
- I PAID TO SEE THIS IN THE CINEMA! NOOOOOOOO!! I want my money, you bastards.
- The Batman costume has nipples, forgiveness, BAT-NIPPLES. Batman ... nipples ... what was missing from those who see gay icons everywhere. - The director is proud to have put the Batsuit nipples ... a man of very high values, no doubt. - The rubber marker on the face of Tommy Lee Jones, who is supposed to represent their deformity ... so fucking stumps deformity in his hands in charge of special effects. - Jim Carrey, all of it. Horrible and hostiable for this movie and then I started to hate him was that he could act well and everything.
- The design of vehicles and Gotham City, full of neon and more tacky than a crocheted Gayumbo.
- There are positives: Leaves Nicole Kidman, who is very rich y. .. (drum roll) ... it's not as bad as the next movie!
Let's go to the next and, thank God, last. Adjectives do not know what to put this travesty, really ... I understand the above, how bad it is, can do funny, but this the only laughter it provokes is that laugh hysterically and unhealthy caused by the slow descent into madness ... The cast of the film, the truth is that it is misleading: we have George Clooney as Batman, Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy, a Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze ... everything seems decent ... but just seeing the first five minutes you realize you're attending one of the most spectacular film of the story. No exaggeration to say that this is probably the worst movie I've ever seen, behind garbage as "Cube 2", "Battle Royale 2", all of Takashi Miike or "Karate to death in Torremolinos", to name some zurullones. And if not the worst, is in the top 3 most certain. Absolutely none of the actors take their roles seriously (normal, with a script that crap I would not either), leading to a mixture of embarrassment and pity (for what they have to make the actors to be some food to the mouth.) Can stand for bad, although it is difficult to know who is worse, Alicia Silverstone, who is out there a Batgirl outfit that has made him his grandfather's butler "just in case." Cágate parrot. The script is full of clever puns assumptions, especially by Schwarzy, making tears of blood mourn the Child Jesus every time you hear.
The villains are bad parodies of Batman series of 60, which were stupid in itself. The argument is laughable and pathetic. The returns to be decorated brothel, but this time have been changed to neon pink (should be the happy hour at the brothel in Gotham City). It seems that the movie is done wrong on purpose to end the saga of Batman ... needless to say it was an incredible failure at the box office (normal, is that enough for a person sees it and word of mouth leads to anyone else again to reach out to the cinema less than 500 meters) and dejoóal character in limbo for almost ten years.
The director, by the way, Joel Schumacher, the same motherfuckin of the previous movie. The truth that you no longer wish for death ... be alive and he must be much worse punishment.
Points to note:
- Batman Poison Ivy purchase in a single auction ?¿¿¿? - Bane, a guy able to break away from Batman in the comics and leave in a wheelchair, mentally retarded here Superfans chlorophyll-based ...!
- Batman takes out the BAT-CREDIT CARD (true, I am not making this up) and above release "Never leave home without it." Time suicide. - The zooms the ass of Batman and Robin when they wear the costume. For the hell are? Geeks would you have us watching the movie meneemos or? - The bat-nipples again, gored more than ever.
- Arnold jokes about cold. ONE. IN. EACH. HOOKER. SENTENCE. And what worse. - The joke, puyitas, chulerismos and phrases "mythical" of absolutely all the characters. - The argument has more holes than the hull of the Titanic.
- The mustache of Alicia Silverstone. A Epilady if you could buy. - You get high (hard drugs, please) while watching the film, improving significantly. - Today I saw this shit released on Blu-Ray at Fnac! His legacy of evil continues for future generations!
- only positive aspect: the movie has already been done, can not return to it. Also this does not pay, I saw on TV, yujuuuu!!
Most of these things as I am unable to see the movie, I remembered watching the excellent critique of the Nostalgia Critic (Points to note:
- Batman Poison Ivy purchase in a single auction ?¿¿¿? - Bane, a guy able to break away from Batman in the comics and leave in a wheelchair, mentally retarded here Superfans chlorophyll-based ...!
- Batman takes out the BAT-CREDIT CARD (true, I am not making this up) and above release "Never leave home without it." Time suicide. - The zooms the ass of Batman and Robin when they wear the costume. For the hell are? Geeks would you have us watching the movie meneemos or? - The bat-nipples again, gored more than ever.
- Arnold jokes about cold. ONE. IN. EACH. HOOKER. SENTENCE. And what worse. - The joke, puyitas, chulerismos and phrases "mythical" of absolutely all the characters. - The argument has more holes than the hull of the Titanic.
- The mustache of Alicia Silverstone. A Epilady if you could buy. - You get high (hard drugs, please) while watching the film, improving significantly. - Today I saw this shit released on Blu-Ray at Fnac! His legacy of evil continues for future generations!
- only positive aspect: the movie has already been done, can not return to it. Also this does not pay, I saw on TV, yujuuuu!!
here
), which discusses these and other aspects, including the most pathetic scenes. If I'm good at English, I recommend it. If not, garlic and water.
Head extra: Batman
the movie (1966) The truth that I have not seen, but coming from the TV series has to be a masterpiece. I've only had the privilege to see the famous scene pump, you can see here
for a laugh.
This concludes the retrospective, until next time! I'm going out there to catch criminals, but not before rubbing ice cubes on the nipples, which seems to be what goes on superhero fashion.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
0 comments:
Post a Comment